| The more I am alive.. the more I tink nobody really cares for me... really hope I am juz paranoid and it's not my personality that makes nobody care.... Hope that it's their personality to not show they care and not my personality.... I just feel that watever I do... it dun really matter to anyone... SO so true... =( Whether I am bz or not it dun matter... whether I am sick... whether I hurt myself... it dun matter... Maybe I juz hurt myself too much it's become n the norm n it dun matter anymore... Today I stepped on my sis's laptop's plug n she never even apologise when i told her not to leave it lying ard... =( My family dun really care abt me... they juz care whether I am home... n in my opinion... tt is the thing that dun matter... they really care abt the wrong things.... during work.. everyone is so bz... they haf no time to tell me much... n i felt so left out... then i come home to a hostile family.... i feel left out again... my life is so miserable... i juz work n come home to tok to myself on blog.... =( Tink I am becoming pessimistic again... =P or izzit true n i am not paranoid.... Anyway, watching movie tmr... yes!! hee... so maybe I shld be happier?? =) |
| Can really get angry w everything... w the computer... w the games... w the weather... w the chair.... w the shoes.... w the contact lens.... w myself.... w my sister... w my action... w my thots.... w my reaction... w my words.... w myself.... w myself n w myself.... shld i continue being spiteful n angry w myself???? Maybe i'd feel better after a zzzz and not be so angry anymore.... and not be spiteful anymore... Tears flow.... for wat??? Moody... for wat??? For disappointments I created myself and for hopes i lifted high??? Frustrations and confusion... a mixture of emotions... so confusing so tiring... Irony of it all?? I created all my self... I made the frustrations, the confusion the trouble... really looking for trouble myself... so so duh.... |
| 2nd attempt at gambling mahjong... n I won!! Lucky lucky day... hee... But it's fri nite and I am at home... no one online to crap with... so boring... N the weather is so so terrible... but then again.. i am really very lucky today at gambling... hee.. Me juz had a bao for dinner... hungry again... =P Haiz... dunno wat I am writing abt... guess my life is not really tt interesting... nothing to write abt except eating, sleeping n working.... Going to start work soon... so exciting.. hope this excitement will last.... Went to dbl o last nite.. yah on a thurs nite... hmm.. maybe I was early... it's juz quiet... like a club in the afternn... but i still got high from the tequila orange... so easily high.. so dangerous... hee.. but most prob it's coz my fren kept drinking the orange on top n I was drinking from below the tequila... =p weekend's here... wonder wat will happen this weekend... Juz d/l new version of msn... so fun.... =P I AM BORED... maybe i shld go zzz... so early on fri... my last fri b4 i start working... n i am doing nothing.. so sad.. =P |
| Juz came back from a relaxing n tiring trip from Penang and Redang... will haf pics for update soon... =P N I am really happy coz I've got a job!!! Miraculously after my complaining abt not having a job n being useless, I got the job.. well it's really last min and I tink most prob someone else haf rejected the position before me... =( but who cares as long as I get it... hee..... Me got my results today.. alittle disappointing.... but well... Maybe I really deserve it.. but i really thot i did quite abit for this paper already... maybe I am turning stupid... ='( Hopefully not... Audrey did really well n I am happi for her.. =) Now it's so late n I am so so hungry... tmr still haf to go out... Abit sianz abt going out.. but haf to.. hee... else not much chance liao... =P So many decisions to make... haf to decide wat new suit to buy.. whether I shld buy expensive or cheap cosmetics.. where to eat when meeting Joanna tmr.... etc etc.... After spending one week 7 days 24 hrs w someone... thot wld be sick of the person.. no no tt's not true... juz left him for 3 hrs and i am already wondering wat he's dreaming of now... hee... =P Mushy.. i know... who cares... =P |
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